Beautifully Broken

                                                                        I sit here so exhausted from the business of the holiday festivities. It’s like it all has caught up to me. It was a bittersweet Christmas for my Family and I, as just a month ago we said our last goodbye to my Uncle Mike here on earth but, In Reality is we will see you later when we all are reunited in Heaven, what a glorious day that will be. I apologize to all my readers that it’s been awhile since I wrote in here. It’s just been a whirlwind of events.       I know this year has been a tough one for a lot of you, not just battling the IC bu...

Looking for Answers in all the Wrong Places              I’d like to share with you now the part of my IC story which focuses on the path I took to finally receive a diagnosis.   Believing in my pain, understanding that what I was feeling was a legitimate issue, and preparing what I was to say to the healthcare professionals were the first steps.   Earlier I had received a referral to a urogynecologist at a hospital in Boston with a good reputation.   I was happy that Don could come with me, but I was still scared of what they would tell me.   My fear was that I would leave the hospital with no answers; but Don told me that I couldn’t have that attitude.   So I did my best to walk in with my head held high, knowing that God was going before me.   I can still feel those feelings of anxiety which I had wrestled with two years ago – two very long years ago - as if it were yesterday...

               Its that time of year again,weren't it just here?It comes upon us, without a lot of us even being prepared.Though i believe that the focus of Christs birth should be the whole year through,this is the time of year we celebrate it.I love wintertime, i don't love the cold weather as it affects my IC and fibromyalgia, but i love the feeling in the air at Christmas, the Pretty lights as they adorn the houses, The  pretty ways people decorate the inside of their houses,, and above all spending quality time with your loved ones, and of course finding ways to give to those i love.             Though this time of year is suppose to be a happy time, making cherished memories, for alot of people, Christmas, the month of December is not a happy time, not because they aren't happy about the  beautiful gift  given to the world,Gods precious son,...

      Ive heard it time and time again." you don't look sick" try this , try that."why cant you just get better.I cant tell you how many times Ive heard these words. They echo in my mind, and they make my blood boil.Just because i look happy and put together, doesn't mean that im not sick.Just because my hair is done  and my make up is on, does not mean im not sick.Or what about this one, when people doubt the severity of our sickness and they say you just exaggerate your symptoms.This makes me angry, but more so sad, that people either aren't educated enough or they just don't care and think how their words can tear down someone.Words do hurt.Many understand, but some choose not to and others should know better.       If i were to walk around looking how i feel all the time, then maybe they would believe me, that's why its called a invisible disease, because from looking at us you cant see all that's wrong inside our bodies. Like all of yo...

                              Readers this is not my usual entry. Today we celebrate Thanksgiving, though every day should be a day we give thanks, but today is the day we put aside and focus on all those blessings. Some of you who read this are friends already others just found me in their search, so some know what my family has been up against. My uncle Mike was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer about 1 year and half ago. It has been a long road for him and for our family! Last Friday he was rushed to the hospital, he had died and they brought him back and he was being kept alive by a breathing machine and all kinds of tubes and  wires. This Tuesday night he was taken off life support. I watched my uncle take his last breath.                 ...

                                                 Reminders...Sparkles of Hope  When our lives are so full of pain, when our days are spent in a cold, what seems like a lonely doctors office.When we are waiting to find out more answers.what will the next course of treatment be.We ask ourselves is there one that will work for me?We have to look closely at the little things, many take for granted.We learn to know their  value and worth,whether a conversation with a fellow pain patient who understands.or hearing the laughter of children echo through the house, or sitting outside on your porch on a cold chilly morning sipping your tea as the sun rises.Reading your favorite book under a soft velvet blanket or snuggling with your fur babies, i kno...

Trust There are two reasons I felt compelled to write on trust. Trust is like a beautiful piece of china: once it’s broken it’s hard to repair.   You can try to put the pieces together but it won’t look the same. There are two aspects of trust I want to touch upon in this entry. The first is, trusting God and letting go of your fear of the unknown.   The second is trust within the relationships we have with family and friends.                 We are human, we are imperfect, and we fall short of expectations every day of our lives. Regardless, God loves us - no matter what - even with all our flaws and broken down bodies.   Living a life with a chronic illness like interstitial cystitis is not an easy journey by any means. The scriptures remind us how important we are to our creator. In Luke 12:22-34, Jesus talks about the flowers of the fields, and how they don’t toil or spin.   God clothe...