Beautifully Broken

                              Readers this is not my usual entry. Today we celebrate Thanksgiving, though every day should be a day we give thanks, but today is the day we put aside and focus on all those blessings. Some of you who read this are friends already others just found me in their search, so some know what my family has been up against. My uncle Mike was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer about 1 year and half ago. It has been a long road for him and for our family! Last Friday he was rushed to the hospital, he had died and they brought him back and he was being kept alive by a breathing machine and all kinds of tubes and  wires. This Tuesday night he was taken off life support. I watched my uncle take his last breath.                 ...

                                                 Reminders...Sparkles of Hope  When our lives are so full of pain, when our days are spent in a cold, what seems like a lonely doctors office.When we are waiting to find out more answers.what will the next course of treatment be.We ask ourselves is there one that will work for me?We have to look closely at the little things, many take for granted.We learn to know their  value and worth,whether a conversation with a fellow pain patient who understands.or hearing the laughter of children echo through the house, or sitting outside on your porch on a cold chilly morning sipping your tea as the sun rises.Reading your favorite book under a soft velvet blanket or snuggling with your fur babies, i kno...

Trust There are two reasons I felt compelled to write on trust. Trust is like a beautiful piece of china: once it’s broken it’s hard to repair.   You can try to put the pieces together but it won’t look the same. There are two aspects of trust I want to touch upon in this entry. The first is, trusting God and letting go of your fear of the unknown.   The second is trust within the relationships we have with family and friends.                 We are human, we are imperfect, and we fall short of expectations every day of our lives. Regardless, God loves us - no matter what - even with all our flaws and broken down bodies.   Living a life with a chronic illness like interstitial cystitis is not an easy journey by any means. The scriptures remind us how important we are to our creator. In Luke 12:22-34, Jesus talks about the flowers of the fields, and how they don’t toil or spin.   God clothe...

Grieving Who I Was               This blog's focus is on the issues surrounding Interstitial Cystitis, and sharing my personal understanding of this particular disease with the world.   What I’ve discovered, though, is that there is a good deal of overlap when examining the psychological issues surrounding most chronic, painful illnesses.   Have you asked yourself the question, have I grieved who I once was before I got sick? Or better yet, has this disease become my prison? I know I grieved for my former life when I was first diagnosed with IC.   There were times when I stomped my foot and got angry at my circumstances - of what my disease had taken from me.   The truth of the matter is we can’t change what has happened.   We must learn to adapt and live life to the very fullest.   This is our reality - day in and day out.   Do I want to embrace it?   No. ...

                                                 I wanted nothing more than my pain to subside. I just wanted to feel ok was that too much to ask? Some doctors and some family and a few friends couldn’t understand why I was still searching for something when I had finally got my diagnosis. I was just going through the emotions, doing what I needed to do to get by. I’ve learned we can’t take the gift of our health for granted, because just like tomorrow is not promised us, neither is our health.   IC is not simple, IC is complicated and messy. Though some doctors think they have concluded what causes it, but no doctor knows for sure what causes this horrific disease. They even disagree of what’s the best treatment, no one works for everyone. My sym...