Trusting People to stand by you when you suffer with Chronic illiness

Trust

There are two reasons I felt compelled to write on trust. Trust is like a beautiful piece of china: once it’s broken it’s hard to repair.  You can try to put the pieces together but it won’t look the same. There are two aspects of trust I want to touch upon in this entry. The first is, trusting God and letting go of your fear of the unknown.  The second is trust within the relationships we have with family and friends.

                We are human, we are imperfect, and we fall short of expectations every day of our lives. Regardless, God loves us - no matter what - even with all our flaws and broken down bodies.  Living a life with a chronic illness like interstitial cystitis is not an easy journey by any means. The scriptures remind us how important we are to our creator. In Luke 12:22-34, Jesus talks about the flowers of the fields, and how they don’t toil or spin.  God clothes them in beauty himself.  He reassures us that our Creator will all the more so clothe us. He goes on to speak of the birds of the air, and how they don’t sow or reap. They are fed and taken care of by the Lord, so all the more so will He tend to us. 

This passage is a call to trust God, even when our pain is pulling us down and we see no light of hope.  We are precious to Him, far more precious than a plant or a bird.  We must trust, in the midst of aching and despair, that He will not abandon us, even in those darkest of moments.

When we are faced with financial struggles due to unemployment or occupational disability, God is well aware of our circumstances - every detail. When we’re afraid, fearful of what the future may hold, we need to remember that Jesus tells us not to doubt.  When faced with seemingly endless fits of physical agony, He tells us not to worry.  “What will it do?” He asks. “Each day has enough worries of its own.” He sees those tears, each one we cry behind closed doors.  Even the tears we try to hide from our family and friends - trust that HE knows. Like the small child who trusts without question, their mom and dad will provide and keep them safe, our heavenly father does the same. Where has our childlike faith gone? Why is it so tough to let go and trust our all knowing, all powerful creator?

                Trust is such a fragile subject.  If trusting God, our loving Father is difficult, how much more so will it be to trust our fellow imperfect human beings?  Can you trust your family and friends to understand your pain? I know there are many people out there who feel alone in this fight. It’s hard enough going through chronic illness, but when you have to fight alone, that’s even tougher. Perhaps, even though you may believe and know God is there, you have friends and family who don’t understand your deep physical pains, doubting the severity of it. Perhaps somebody dear to you - somebody in whom you had put great trust - turned their back on you, denying your condition and the troubles which come along with it,  this heart wrenching, trust-shattering ordeal.  I’ve had some walk out of my life, so I understand.  A terrible temptation to cut all ties with those around you may present itself.  Like the frailty of fine china tested by jarring blow, your trust in humanity may be shaken beyond the point of breaking.   Sadly, not everyone will understand our daily battle; we can’t let our hearts harden because of the hurt. I understand the isolation that can come from this at times, but I have supportive people in my corner, and I’m here to let you know you’re not alone, that’s why I write what I do to share my journey and to take your hand in mine. We have been dealt this hand, we need to step up and be that voice of compassion for others. As we educate and bring awareness, trust will be rebuilt. There will be ones who turn from us, but I can tell you there will be many more who will embrace us with open arms. Do not let your pain and broken trust shatter your faith in God or the heart of humanity.