Beautifully Broken

     Good afternoon my readers. What a beautiful day it is today where I live. The sun is shining through my living room window, and I can feel the warmth upon my face. This makes me think how thankful I’am that I can have eyes to see the breathtaking beauty of Gods creation. Today we are wrapping up our series on the stages of coming to terms with IC.     We’ve walked this journey together discussing these stages side by side, hand in hand. Here you are you’ve got a diagnosis which you wanted to deny was real. It was a shock to say the least; you thought of bargaining with it ill do this if only this disease will go away. Then came the anger, you thought the more angry I get the more you could fight it off, but anger didn’t change what was. I built walls so no one could reach in. Then the anger gave way to depression, I felt like I was on the edge of a cliff, looking over the side of what seemed like a fall that would just keep going, with noth...

    We are continuing on in our series of stages of coming to terms with IC.I want you to close your eyes for a moment and picture this scene in your minds. You may understand all these feelings that your going through or it just may all be new to you and your trying to figure it all out. So the stages we are going to discuss will be Anger and Depression.    A young woman in her 20s just graduated college; she has been married only a few short months. She and her husband want to start planning a family…. And then the unthinkable happens. She goes to the doctor and she find out that she has a chronic bladder disease interstitial cystitis, and just like that her little world in a nice wrapped package unravels.     That night over dinner she lashes out at her husband over some stupid little disagreement. They finish dinner in silence. Later that evening while sitting on the couch sipping her hot tea, she realizes she wasn’t angry at her husb...

Hope all of my readers are having a good day. I’m sorry it took a few days to get part 2 of our series up. Today we will continue on in that series of the stages of coming to terms with IC. Under the umbrella of denial is the stage of Shock, when your unable to even feel the emotions,   you feel as though you’ve hit a brick wall, running a million miles a hour, and then bang out of nowhere comes this hurricane of   feelings, and you just can’t feel. Its like you’ve been run over and all you’ve ever known has been ripped from under you and out of you. Its too much.     In a moment’s time, one trip to the Urolgist office and your life changes, almost overnight it feels. Denial and shock go hand in hand. In one you deny it there and the other you can’t fathom that this ordeal is happening..You try to just push it down and go on as if everything is exactly the same. The stages we go through in life when we grieve, there are many painful things in life we enco...

       Good evening my beautiful readers. I pray your pain levels are manageable today. I’m starting a series on the Process we go through to Acceptance of our disease. Which im very excited about. Before I go any farther in this entry, please understand by accepting our diagnosis, does not mean that it defines or confines us, it simply implies that we’ve come to a peace about it and were learning to deal with the physical changes and the emotional changes that are taking place in our lives.       So the first stage we will discuss is Denial; does it help or hurt our diagnosis? One thing to remember is its not just in death that we grieve, we can grieve who we once were, we grieve over lost relationships, loss of career, loss of a life that we once lived, what has been taken from us. What we feel like we can’t give to our children or spouses or friends, like we once did.     That day you walk into your uros o...

          I try to be a very organized person, I even make a blog schedule so im keeping track and giving enough time to each blog. But like with everything in life, there comes a time where you just go with the flow and step away from the schedule and do what’s put on your heart. And that’s what this entry is, it’s a heart moment, I feel like I need to post this. You all are my extended family whether I know you or not, we all fight this battle together.          Last night I had one of those evenings, when I just broke down and the tears flowed from my eyes and down my cheeks, I could not stop them. I felt overwhelmed from all angles. I know many of you are feeling so overwhelmed with pain, with life and feel like your back is up against the wall. One of the ways ive dealt with life’s blows is to put my pen to paper and write a poem, out of my deepest hurts have flowed some of my best poetry, out of the brokenness, com...