My night... last night~Sleep What's That?



    The pain would not let up in my legs, they were restless and tingly. No matter how hard I tried to sleep, it just wasn’t coming easy to me last night. I wish I could say this was only occasionally, but this   kind of night plays out many  times, to the point all I can do is curl up in a ball and cry, and I Pray, yes I pray even if all that comes are tears and tears are my words, I know the Lord understands.
    The spasms were too many to count; I just wanted the pain to let up, is that too much to ask? All I wanted to do was close my eyes and drift off to a faraway land where there was no such thing as pain.  I could wake with the morning sun feeling refreshed, and ready to take on the world, is that too much to ask for?
    Sleep… what’s that? Another night, of insomnia, another night I lay awake I toss and I turn. I feel restless I feel as though I want to crawl out of my skin. Every hour it seems I’m up again, making my way to the bathroom. At times it feels like it’s my second home. I get up only to return. The tears start to roll down my cheek, onto my pillow. I want to scream, I’m so beyond sick of this pain, I’m so over it all.
   I know you all have had nights like this, my heart breaks for all of us. I feel your pain. I want it it all to go away, all of it. Sleep…. what’s that? The hours tick by tick… tick, I find myself staring at the wall. My husband sleeps so soundly beside me; I don’t want to wake him. This was my night last night. This is many nights for me.IC is a disease that’s full of uncertainty. You never know what your night will bring.does it all sound familiar, can you  feel my thoughts?
    Is  was 5:30  am when I wrote this, and I hadn’t got more than 1 hour of sleep, my mind would not shut down, the pain would not ease up. Sleep your precious, those nights I can drift off to a peaceful slumber and wake refreshed are few and far between. Something many take for granted. When you deal with chronic illness you never take for granted the things that matter most, for me one of them is sleep. We know sleep is vitally important for our overall health .I’d give anything… anything if only… I dint have to say…SLEEP … what’s that?

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