The Ugly Monster of Guilt~



Good evening my Readers. I hope tonight finds you having a low pain evening. In addition, being able to kick back and just relax. Therefore, I am going to throw out a question for you. Do you ever feel guilty for having this illness? Do you ever beat yourselves up for not being who you think you should be .Maybe you think you should be a  better mom to your children, a better spouse , a better daughter or son, or a better friend. I think it’s safe to say, we all have felt this way at one time or another. The Ugly monster of guilt likes to attach itself to us and make us feel, even worse than we already do!
 We all know there are stages of grief, when you  experience any kind of loss .I can speak from experience that even though I’ve come to a point in my own journey that I’ve accepted  what is, and I don’t let it define me. I still have moments when the guilt creeps back into my thoughts and I get so angry at myself. I hate IC, I hate all chronic illness and pain. When you suffer with chronic pain every day its so easy to find yourself taking steps back, the guilt is  there, it’s a matter of learning to not let it consume you!
  We have our good days, and our bad days with pain. In the same way, we have good days where we can hold our heads high and we do ok with what we have to deal with, and yet there are moments, days and even weeks that the feelings are pressing down on us like a ton of bricks. I found some quotes that describe how we feel when that guilt trip hits full force.”It always seemed that a fear of rejection is the mark of guilt and the burden of insecurity” quote by: Criss Jami
    Its tough when those in our lives do not understand, they try, while others don’t give us a second look. Yet we are always trying to be better for those we love, we always feel like  we are failures when we can’t live up to the expectations of our responsibilities .We live with that fear of rejection and insecurity comes along for the ride. Rejection and insecurity really are the underlying   causes for guilt. They both are lying monsters that try to devour our self esteem and our purpose.
  The next quote I found sums up how we need to feel, when those thoughts   try to steal your sanity. We are doing the best we can living with this disease,  I strive every day to not live under the shadow of guilt, for 2 reasons, IC is  NOT OUR FAULT!!!! We cant control what goes on in our bodies, but we can  strive to work on not falling for the gulit trap, that will just play into our emotional well being and wreck havoc on our bodies emotionally, and we know that stress flares us, its not easy, that’s why having boundaries is important.
 Therefore, I close with this quote!  By:Mary-Ann Radmader  “I rest in the light of forgiveness, I forgive myself and others. For that which is done? Better left undone, also that which is not done and better if done. I give myself permission to enjoy this moment without guilt. I freely release all uncertainly, regret and fear”
 Give yourself Permission to feel! Let go of false pretenses of guilt and Know THIS!!!! You are doing the very very best you can with what you have been dealt with! You are a Warrior and you don’t deserve to live under the dark cloud of guilt! Step out and release what is! Live the Serenity prayer daily!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Poem~ "Not Another Day"

                       Good evening readers,I know its been awhile since I wrote in my blog and I apologize for that. This entry won’t be a regular entry I feel led to share with you another one of my poems to encourage your weary souls. I know that a lot of my IC and fibro and many suffering from chronic pain are dealing with a lot, their health is failing, and they feel overwhelmed, pressed down from so many different angles.       Today my pain is so severe, I was late getting my period, and we know how that flares our IC, but I forced myself to go outside and just sit in the sun for a little bit. It was a time of refreshment and peace. The sky was so blue, as blue as can be, the sun was so warm on my face and the clouds so puffy. I then spent a hour just reading my bible, I felt the Holy spirit drench me with His peace. I put myself aside and ...
Read more

I Give Permission

  Put away that smile and brave face. We are not required to stay strong, we all feel weak at times. There is no shame in this. There are more than enough days that I lay in bed and just cry, until I no long have tears to cry with. I cry because of the relentless pain, I cry because I want to be free of this monster that tried to wreck havoc on my body. It does to my body in many ways, but I refuse to let it do that to my soul. This is about giving ourselves room and permission to cry and to let it all out. I need to be honest with myself, I hate this I really do, and WE all do. It’s not fair it feels good to be real and raw and speak it the way it is. I know many of you will be able to relate to this. The day’s I’m bedridden, that’s tough. But I give myself permission to not be on top of it all. It’s ok to cry its ok to breakdown, I give you permission. I’m sure you’ve heard this before; TEARS are a cleansing to the soul and spirit. God gave us tears, it he wanted us to always ...
Read more

Poetry~ "Its In Moments Like This I Live For"

Another night of endless pain, hard to remember   the life i had before all this pain began, another night I face, the world sleeps as I lie awake thinking of another time, another place, a place far away from all the pain and the tears, if only I could go back so many years.     As I sit here with tears falling from my eyes I cling to the words I   know my Savior said” never will I leave you, never will I forsake you” its in moments like this I so desire to be wrapped up in the arms of my loving Lord.     Outside I can hear the river flow on by, and the small waterfall at the end. it’s the way I love to   begin and end my days, hearing the sound of God’s creation   the sound reaches into my soul I feel its echo through my body, I sense the peace and the tranquility it brings its in moments like this, amidst the pain that I live for.   Day after day as time ticks away, the hours slip by, they give away to days, days turn into weeks...
Read more