Poem~ IC Makes us Feel Tattered and Torn~

  I am tattered and torn, weary and worn. I close my eyes I can see life as it once was, before the pain, before the heartache, before the loss of so much .Before I felt like a outsider looking in. Can yesterday come again? If only that was more than a dream? Some days I cope with a smile, other days hanging on by a single thread. Yet I just don’t want to survive from day to day, I want more than anything to live this life, I want to dance, I want to embrace each chance, I want to have faith and hope in a brighter, beautiful days.
   There are days my faith feels so small, there are moments in each day I ask myself can I do this at all? Is the light, the glimmer that once lit my eyes gone? I hope not, I fight to live on. I am doing the best I know how to do, but there are times I ask is that the best I have?
  There are nights I sit at my desk with only a small light on. I journal my thoughts, my hopes and my dreams, I wonder to myself  is that all they will ever be, will they fade with time and turn into just faded memories. At times, I feel like I am being pulled down, lost in crowd, a crowd with empty faces and lonely embraces. A crowd with mere superficial words to speak, they hear, but they do not listen to my cries.
  I walk through my day in a trance of sorts so to say as if my life is a movie that is being played before my eyes, I so want to rewind those happy, precious moments I find. I want to fast-forward the pain the sadness and leave it all far behind. I want to pursue the moments that make me smile, but this I cannot control; I only can choose to be happy through the painful days and long agonizing nights!
  My pain may not leave; my days may still be long. This is my life and I am trying the best I know how.  I know each and every one of you do, you’re so courageous to me .Do I wish for my old life, before the pain, before the heartache and the loss of some dreams, yes I do, but I will not let  my present trouble dictate who iam now, or what I can do, I’m doing the very best I know how.

  We may be tattered and torn, we may be weary and worn, and we may feel like a worn out ragdoll who has no use at all.  WE are beautiful, we bring joy to those who love us for us, as a tattered and worn teddy bear brings joy to a child, we bring joy to this world, by the beautiful courageous fighting warriors we are!

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