The Caregiver/Pain Patient Relationship~



The caregiver and the pain patient’s relationship what it entails.  It’s not just a struggle for the person living in pain  and being cared for, because when your health gets so severe and you need someone to come along side you and be your caretaker, you may feel like your loosing yourself, your independence, and that’s not what a caretaker is trying to take from you.  Just coming alongside you and offering their help. It is also a magnitude of a struggle for the caretaker, sometimes they do not understand the extent of our illness, and they cannot feel what we feel.
   I see the patient or loved one/ caretaker relationship as a two way street. The caretaker cares for the one in pain, while the one who suffers in pain needs to help their caretaker understand what it’s like to be a chronic pain patient. Many caretakers do not have the full knowledge of what it will involve, so do your best to be patient with them, which is tough at times when the caretaker is a spouse or a family or friend.
   It is just as important for your caregiver to know your pain, just as much as you know it. What are your triggers, what sends you in a flare, what to do when the pain becomes unbearable and what meds you take and what each one does? Show some tlc to the one in pain, your part as their caregiver involves making sure they are receiving proper pain assessment and making sure they are following their treatment plan that’s set in place, be in communication with their team of doctors, if your able to go to their appointments with them and know what questions to ask.
  As the person who suffers in pain is worn down, so does those who help care for us. So encourage them to take time for themselves, if you are not up to par and healthy, how can you care for another human being? Keep communication open, share with your caregiver feelings and be brutally honest if the need arises, people cannot read minds, as you are open and honest with them, and they learn, they will notice what causes your triggers and what should be done.
Sometimes they cannot do anything for the pain, but we need them to just sit be quiet and listen to us, be that sounding board. if were having trouble navigating our own feelings and understanding them, then its normal for us to say, bear with me , while I try to help you understand, its hard to explain what  we even don’t understand ourselves. The more we help them, the more they will understand, the more the relationship will grow, help them be the best caregivers they can be, its us doing our part, and they will see  what IC or any chronic illness/pain does to us~

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