Be Thankful for your Constants!



Hello my Beautiful IC Family.  I know that I have not written in my IC blog in quite some time and I apologize for that. When I don’t write I truly miss my passion, but some days the pain is so overwhelming or im busy with life, you all know how that can be and days turn into weeks and weeks can easily turn into months and im sorry.  I am back and ill try to write at least 2/3 times a month in this blog. I had to stop doing another one of my blogs because it just got too much for me. I had my own three blogs plus I blogged on a International level for the International Bipolar foundation. So this entry  is going to be a mix up of a small update of what’s going on  a personal  level with my own health and then I want to talk about  “Constants” but ill explain! Before I dig in I want to write you a poem that just came to me, because my first and foremost reason for blogging is to encourage you all!
                                             “Giving It all over to YOU Lord” By: Natalie
 One more day, can I take this pain one more day? I want to wake up to the old me, the me from  yesterday, before ic, before everything changed for me… yesterday, how I pray for  my yesterdays, we all cling to the way it used to be. Yet I want for nothing more than to be happy in the here and now!, to be able to smile through the tears as they fall down my cheeks onto my pillow, I can’t live in yesterday, while trying to make my way through today. Some days are harder than others, some days I feel as though I will cave, but I know I can’t give up, I’m stronger than this, YOURE stronger than this, I know because your still here fighting through, through the tears, we smile and we press on for our tomorrows!
  I will not give up, I will not lie down, but I know I can give it over, hand it over to my Lord, when I weak, He is strong, when im down, He lifts me up, when im falling apart, he holds me together! give it all over to Him, he can restore, he can sustain, he can make all things new and beautiful in his time. I may fall, I may fall on my knees, but I can count my Lord to  hold me, hold me together and hold me still through this chaos. We will not give in, we will not give up, but we will hand it all over to Him!  The end~
  Update on me:  im still fighting my insurance for the interstim implant, but I had a very good appointment today at the uros office. My doctor is so good; he cares so much about his patients. He spent 40 minutes with me talking and discussing what is left as far as options go, I have done most treatments, some worked, but insurance stopped covering them, some stopped working and some did not work at all! He ordered a bladder ultrasound and   urodynamic testing for me, he said he’s trying to reword my files and papers he sends to the insurance again, he is fighting for me to get that interstim . My pain is getting worse, my frequency is getting worse and urgency is at a al time high! The more tests he does on my bladder the more he can submit to the insurance company! So keep praying, as I pray for each and every one of you daily!!!
  With IC we live in a world of constants! Constant Pain 24/7 constant appointments, constant procedures, loneliness frustrated, anger, depression, constant  unknowns!  Many days we have to choose to feel happy! It is a roller coaster of a ride to say the least! Yet im thankful for my CONSTANT strength from God, HE sustains me through my darkest days, my longest nights, and my constant support from my husband and family and friends.
  ALSO my constant love and SUPPORT from my IC family! I have no idea where id be without you all! cant even express gratitude without getting choked up with tears because you guys are amazing.  AMAZING!  How many average people out in the world have a army of supporters like we do. Who offer encouragement, advice, prayers, insight, and the list goes on and on! WE are blessed, not because of this awful disease, but through it we’ve formed lifetime friendships, a sister and unity that ties can’t be severed or broken! Bonds that Surpass technology and chats online!
  Most of us have not met face to face, some of us have had opportunities or live near a ic sister or brother we’ve met online, but most haven’t and many never will meet face to face. The letters, cards, calls, text messages have united us, distance cant separate true friendship, that’s a mystery that lies within the Hearts of those we love, family is beyond blood  ties, family are the ones who  hold us up, who see us at our worst and bring out the best in us!
   Who love us with no strings attached! The world we live in, can be a sad and lonely place, with a lot of heartache. Yet we have little things to cling to make us smile, to give us hope, which we can be thankful for! Be thankful for your constants, the people  who love us  and that we love, the moments that take our breath away and make our hearts smile, that’s what we live for, those precious priceless constants that live in us, that guide us and helping us take that next step!

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