"Those Words Hurt"

  ‘’You don’t look sick” “You must be feeling better” I’ve heard these words more times than I want to count. I am sure you all familiar with the saying” Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt” IT’S THE FARTHEST from the TRUTH! In fact, those words make my blood boil. If words that we speak of encouragement can brighten someone’s day, then words that tear someone down   hurt as well. Words are powerful. So understand and now what you are saying, before those words leave your lips. Will they edify or break someone’s spirit.

  I know we all can relate whether from ic   or being a chronic pain patient, All these invisible illness, get the short end of the stick. If they only understood what goes on behind closed doors, what we feel as we toss and turn late at night. Just because they can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not real, its as real and raw as it comes.

 Can you relate? Do you feel what I feel? Sadly its happened on numerous occasions in many different situations. I tossed and I turned all night long, sleep was nowhere to be found, all I could do was cry, cry a river of tears, no one knew. No matter how hard I prayed, with tears falling from my eyes I tries o to relax, but my body was at war with itself. I got up the next morning regardless, so utterly exhausted from the night before physically and mentally drained.I pushed through the pain, so I could take shower and get dressed for church, work, college, a outing with a friend. I picked out a nice outfit, my favorite one. I did my hair and even put on makeup. I tried to wear a smile outside.

  I tried to make it look like I was all  together I wanted to be there, I knew I had responsibilities, my body felt like it was giving out .Are you with me? Can this day be over with already, I repeated it silently under my breath; All I wanted was to sleep the world away?  I tried to make friendly conversation, but I was just going through the emotions. Behind my eyes were tears ready to break forth. Yet I smiled anyway. Some sweet lady made her way over to my seat, I asked how she was, she answered then she asked me, I told her  I dint feel well,  but she said you” look so nice, you must be feeling better” Yes even after I told her just minutes before how I was feeling. Did she hear or was she really listening?

 They cannot see, because on the outside we may not always look sick to the eyes around us. I knew in my heart, she was not trying to be unkind.  Just because I look nice in appearance, does not mean I am not sick, how can I get that point across? Yes there are those in our lives who are cruel, who don’t care to listen or understand where were coming from. Then there are those who really love us, but they don’t understand, their intentions are good, but they cannot see or feel what our bodies are feeling?

 Picture this, what would change, how would they react to us, having that same conversation if we looked how we felt? What would happen if the outside of our bodies looked like the inside of our cut up bladders? What would happen if the anger, exhaustion, depression, frustration was written all over our face, how would they react, would they empathize for us then? Would those words never be spoken? Would they treat us different?

  Would the words of our mouths not be needed to be expressed, because they could see exactly how bad we feel for once? They may not always see the battle wounds we have. Those words hurt, even the ones with good intentions behind them. Even when they want to compliment us, or think if we have the strength to put on makeup, it must not be as bad as we make it out to be. If only that was the truth, no its not, but we want to feel pretty, we have to push through at times and do what we need to do, why must we be criticized for it, are we expected to look how we feel to make our point valid? We all want to look pretty. Sometimes it’s the only happy moment for me at that time, why can’t I enjoy the precious moments, for they are few and far between, but I’m so thankful, sometimes when you’re down and out and the pain is relentless, but you can make yourself look nice it makes you feel somewhat, even a little better about yourself. To feel normal, even only for a moment.

  These are the opportunities. the platforms we need to use to spread awareness to all who will listen. help them understand so they can help you. We cannot always be angry when people react a certain way because they do not understand and are uneducated. It’s ok to let our guards down, its ok to want to be happy and feel good about ourselves without feeling guilty. We deserve it each one of you! So remember those words hurt….EVEN the ones with the BEST INTENTIONS!